Failing Physically...

Mackenzie's Beautiful Family

Growing up, I was never particularly unhappy with the way I looked, while so many of my friends hated their bodies.  I had moments of physical insecurities but never more than what I would consider normal.  For much of my childhood, I was a dancer and played soccer.  I never experienced serious injury or pain.  My body was able to with stand all that I put it through.

In my teenage years, I quickly learned how persuasive I could be by using my body.  A nice smile, a simple look, a certain touch, an aggressive gesture, all physical things that helped me get what I wanted.  There was no reason not to like my body.

It wasn't until I was 27 years old that I hated my body.  It wasn't because of the reasons that so many women and young girls hate their bodies.  It was because it had failed me!

After having a beautiful tiny baby girl in 2005, my husband and I decided to have another.  I had a pretty normal pregnancy.  A few little scares here and there but nothing serious.  I was scheduled to have a c-section to deliver the baby on Friday, April 20, 2007.  On Tuesday, April 17, 2007, I went to the hospital because I knew something was wrong with my baby.  I was hooked up to an ultra sound machine.  The calm I heard and saw was all I needed to know what was going on.  My baby had no heartbeat.

Dakota Everett was born still.  While I recovered in the hospital, planned his funeral, and tried to pick up the pieces of my broken heart,  I kept going back to the fact that my body failed me.  It had never failed me before.  How could it not be able to accomplish this one thing that it had once before and so many other bodies were doing all around me.  There wasn't anyone telling me or making me feel like I had failed, yet I knew I did.  I failed my husband.  I failed my daughter.  I failed my family and friends. 

I was determined to prove to myself and everyone one else that I wasn't a failure.  In December of 2008, my husband and I welcomed a wonderful, healthy baby boy into the world.  As excited as I was to have this new addition to my family, it didn't take away my feeling of failure.  I had two healthy children, but I was suppose to have 3.  I soon realized that it wouldn't matter if I had 12 kids, I would still yearn for my Dakota.

Now, in 2012, I fight my feelings of physical failure with my determination to help others dealing with similar situations.  I have been able to counter my physical failure with physical success.  With the help of family and friends, I have been able to raise over $20,000 for the March of Dimes since 2007.  We are helping to save babies in Dakotas name.

In 2013, I will begin my venture to help support families who experience pregnancy loss.  What an amazing way to succeed physically, emotionally, and spiritually!  I now look at failure as a challenge.  How am I going to turn my failure into my success?

Keep your eyes out for the official launch of

 TEAM DAKOTA
Taking baby steps since 2007 . . .



Written By: MacKenzie Schmidt, Age 32