My Eating Disorder...

I never thought I had a problem with my body image until the day I was diagnosed as anorexic. I was diagnosed in middle school and I couldn’t quite grasp the idea that something was wrong with me. I honestly didn’t care, only caring when my therapist called my mom into school and told her the news in front of me as I watched my mom burst into tears. She cried for days and I just sat there watching her. That’s when I started realizing what I looked like in the mirror. I looked sick and pale.

Each therapy session I had to bring home a food journal and write down everything I ate with an adult’s supervision. This food journal made me realize how little I ate during the day. I would take a bite of something then throw it away because it made me sick.

My therapist began to ask me questions about how I thought I looked. I would answer saying my legs feel so heavy, feeling embarrassed to walk in front of the class or sit down because my thighs just felt abnormally huge. Every day I would look in the mirror and I would see myself as being thick, but I wanted to be thin. It was a struggle to find inner peace.

I would hide myself in sweat pants and jackets every day, even on the hottest days. I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed with the way I looked and I couldn’t figure out why. Deep down I knew I was skinny, but I just couldn’t get myself to completely believe it.

It was hard to feel like I wasn’t pretty enough. It took a huge toll on me because I never felt good enough for anyone. I would keep myself isolated because I always felt like others were judging me on how I looked because I always judged myself on how I looked. It was difficult to put myself out there and be okay with who I was.

It took me a long time to find peace with my body. It wasn’t until junior year of high school when I started gaining some weight and trying really hard to help myself get healthy again. I continued to attend therapy sessions because they were helping me realize my beauty and helping me realize that fit is the new skinny.

“Fit is the new skinny” changed my life around. I began to make sure I was eating a lot of protein and getting the necessary nutrition because I wasn’t able to do physical activities until I was healthy again.

To this day, I keep the right balance of working out and eating to help me feel good about myself and help others find their inner beauty.

Corenne Hall, Age 19, Covina CA

The Journey to Loving Me. AS IS!

Once upon a time, B.C. (aka before children), I was pretty, had a nice body, and was so insecure. Due to my lack of confidence and self-worth, I was often looking for ways for people to notice me. I would pile on the makeup, wear as little clothing as I could get away with, and I turned my flirt game up to 100%. The attention that I would get was intoxicating! It was only a temporary high though that required me to do more to get more attention. Consequently, I put myself in some very dangerous and life changing situations. It was very unhealthy, both emotionally and physically.

After I had my second child, I really let myself go and I weighed the most I ever had in my life. No one looked at me anymore; I didn’t even want to look at myself. I desperately needed someone to love me! It was awful and the depression was crippling. When no one wanted me, what was I supposed to do? Where was that attention that I so desperately needed to survive? The answer: I needed to love myself.

I didn’t get there overnight. In fact, it took a LOT of work. I knew that I needed to start by losing weight, so I began by adopting healthier eating habits and increased my activity level (I have lost 30 pounds so far, and probably need to lose an additional 50). I had to stop calling myself fat. I had to stop telling myself that I hated how I looked. I had to smile more. I had to write positive words of affirmations and post them on my mirrors. I had to buy clothes that fit. It wasn’t something that was going to happen on its own, I had to work for it!

Now, I don’t care if people look at me. I don’t care if my selfie gets 100 likes. All that matters is that I love the person that I look at in the mirror. And I love her now more than ever!

I have two sons, ages 12 and 7. They think I am perfect. They think I am beautiful. They don’t ever want me to change. They see everything that I do and hear everything that I say about myself. I don’t want them to grow up with an unhealthy body image, nor do I want them to look at their future wives or daughters negatively. I want them to see that my happiness wasn’t found in material things or temporary validation from others. I want them to see that my happiness came from having confidence in myself, and by being surrounded by those that love me unconditionally.

Kristen B.  Age 34; Cincinnati, Ohio.

Proud & Pretty Rallies for our Bodies

Body Image is definitely a hot topic in today's society but too many people don’t understand what it actually means and how it affects others and themselves. The media contributes to negative body image and it leads to an increase of body dissatisfaction and disordered eating. Girls are losing their confidence at a young age and the war on their bodies is beginning earlier than ever. We work to help girls understand themselves and what they, and others, are dealing with in today’s society.

We are excited to announce that we will be hosting a week long social media campaign, "Pink Week," in order to bring awareness to body image issues. During the week of April 20-25, we will be posting statistics, motivational and inspirational videos, quotes and more to highlight what negatively affects our body image. The social media campaign will focus on body image in the media, eating disorders/depression and becoming confident in your own skin. The campaign will take place on our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and right here on Writings in Pink! We encourage you to take action and participate all week long by using the hashtag #PPPinkWeek15 on all your social media platforms.

On Thursday, April 24th at 6:30pm, we will be hosting a Twitter Talk to generate a conversation about body image. Questions and discussion topics will be posted based on the campaign’s main topics. We want you and everyone else who participates to voice your opinions and concerns. We encourage the community to join in on this conversation to bring awareness to the significance of body image and the impact it has on our society by using the hashtag.

On Saturday April 25th from 11am-1pm, a Body Image Rally will take place at the Fontana City Hall to encourage the community to take action against the war on our bodies. The event will begin with a discussion on body image with Proud and Pretty in Pink founders Chelsie Mogan-Prince and Chandra Mogan. Afterwards, the supporters, community members and organization leaders will take to the streets to bring awareness to the issues that surround body image. Posters with facts, statistics and positive encouragements will be distributed to attendees to participate in this curbside rally. Let’s praise them, love them, encourage them, educate them and compliment them. RSVP on the Facebook Event Page, HERE.

We will be having numerous raffles throughout the week for those who participate in the campaign. Join in by using the hash tag #PPPinkWeek15, retweeting, commenting with your opinions and encouraging others to like and follow. For every hashtag, you will be entered to win prizes, including Proud and Pretty merchandise!

Although it is impossible to change the media, we hope to change the way girls look at the media and themselves. Education is the first step toward a positive and happy lifestyle. We hope that we can have some part in that. 

Join us as we rally for bodies during “Pink Week” with Proud and Pretty in Pink!

Follow along on our social media platforms!

Facebook: Proud and Pretty in Pink

Twitter: @Proudandpretty

Instagram: @Proudandpretty

Organized by Kayla Hockman, University of La Verne

Let me be…

Young girls these days are being sent many different messages making it hard for them to be
comfortable with their true self.  It’s obvious that the media wants girls and women to look a certain way.  But there are so many wonderful organizations out there trying to fight this idea and in reality they are also creating confusion and anxiety for young girls.

In 2015 girls don’t know if they should be wearing make up or embracing their “natural” look.  They don’t know if being skinny is a good thing or if it’s frowned upon because that isn’t what “Real Women” look like.  In attempts to make one group feel better about themselves we are creating a negative message and sending it to the opposite group.

If I want to wear make up and I feel good about myself in it, then let me.

If I want to work out and eat right to maintain my idea of a great body, let me.

If I chose to not participate in hours of fitness and restrictive eating, let me.

If I want to wear extensions in my hair and fake lashes on my eyes, let me.

If I want to walk out of the house with messy hair and no make up on, let me.

If I want to love myself for exactly who I am and who I’ve chosen to be, let me.

Source

Stop telling girls that there’s a right way to do things.  Stop telling them that this form of expression is better or worse than that one.  Stop trying to convince them that it’s better to be themselves without giving them the tools to find out who “themselves” actually is.

We want girls to be whoever they want to be and we want to help them figure out who that is.

We hear them as they scream, “JUST LET ME BE!”

Written By:

Chelsie Prince

Founder of Proud & Pretty in Pink

Sexy Costumes... Yay or Nay?

In honor of Halloween, we asked a variety of women how they feel about the "Sexy" Halloween costumes that so many girls and women wear.  Each one of them was asked if they wear or have worn sexy costumes for Halloween, why or why not and how old they are.  We want to hear from you as well!  Read through these and pick a number that you relate to most.  And leave a little extra comment with the number you choose.

Source

Here are the responses we received:

1.  Yes I did wear sexy costumes in college when I was single, in a sorority and had parties to go to with friends. It was more social and I did it with all my sisters. I don't now because I'm married and just don't care to dress up at all, sexy or not.. Lol. My current age is 27 and my days of dressing sexy were from 18-23.

2.  I don't ever want to dress sexy but unfortunately it's often the only convenient and available costumes out there (besides making your own).  Who has time for that!?!  I often have to do things to un-sexify them. I am 35 with children that I want to dress up with.  I use to want to dress sexy in my College days.  I think that's when they kinda first got popular.  And I indefinitely did it for the attention!

3.  I haven't ever.  It wasn't my thing. I'm 28.

4.  Yes I have. And yes I still would dress up in a sexy halloween costume. I don’t see the problem with dressing up and feeling sexy. I think women should be able to wear whatever they want without criticism. If you feel comfortable and confident with what you are wearing then what should stop you? I am a huge advocate of wearing whatever the heck you want no matter what people say/think. I have definitely taken fashion risks, especially on Halloween.  I am currently 20 years old and my days of sexy Halloween costumes are definitely not in my past. They will probably be in my future too! If it makes you feel sexy, confident, cute, beautiful, or anything positive then go for it! Who cares what anyone else thinks? LOVE YOURSELF.

5.  No I try and do org costumes.  I feel like it's nicer to be an individual than to wear a bag costume. I'm 29 years old.

6.  I do. As a teenager and young adult I think we are still very into the idea that sex sells. Not in a bad way, but in the way that it's just how our society is and we're much more prone to give into the idea of a "sexy" costume at our age. I personally don't mind doing it. I feel comfortable enough with myself and to be completely honest I know part of me is doing it for the attention. But again, I am young and I feel it is ok for now. If you were to ask me again in a few years my answer would be much different. I'm 21 years old.

7.  I haven't dressed up this year but I don't feel too comfortable being in super sexy costumes cause 1 I'm a mother.  I feel like those who know me age are like "WTF you're a mom."  I could come up with a cool costume that is unique and fun that doesn't have my ass hanging out.  I am 28 and I don't feel like my sexy days are in the past but I have never felt that I have had "sexy" Halloween days lol.

8.  Yes, when I was in college (and post-college) my girlfriends and I always did themed "group" costumes, and had fun making our "sexy and cute" versions of Disney princesses, cereal box characters, etc.  Friends and I still do our themed costumes, but have toned them down. We focus on the fun of dressing up and on making the costumes look "accurate" as opposed to sexy. As we have gotten older, we realized we get just as much attention and feel much more comfortable in costumes that are not so exposed. :)  I'm 29. I would say my last "sexy" costume was when I was 22 or 23.

9.  I haven't worn sexy Halloween outfits. I've wanted to occasionally but never felt comfortable so I never did.  I'm 24 now and I don't know if I will ever go through with wearing a sexy costume.

We'd love to hear what your take is on this Sexy Halloween Costume topic! Comment below and tell us which number you relate to most and include your own explanation if you'd like.  

Skinny Insecurity

This was written by Proud & Pretty founder, Chelsie Prince, on her own personal blog: C.A. Prince.  Here she shares her personal struggle with body image.

Most of us have some kind of insecurity.  In today’s day there are many people, especially women, who have insecurities about their bodies.  I work with girls all the time trying to help them understand that their bodies are nothing to be ashamed of.  I educate them on the negative effects the media has on women all over the world.  I show them the trickery that goes on in Photoshop and I explain that the people we see on magazines are not real people.  Those women are made up versions of real women.  I feel that I can relate to these younger girls because I have battled with my own insecurities my entire life.  For years now our society has over emphasized that the ideal body shape is skinny. There are millions of people trying to become a version of themselves that just isn’t real.  Women and girls are working desperately to lose weight, create a “thigh-gap“, and some even disguise their unhealthy attempts as becoming fit.  Go figure I would be striving for the exact opposite.

I have been “skinny” my whole life.  I have been active the majority of my life as well.  I can remember my skinny insecurity starting back in elementary school.  I wasn’t made fun of per say, but I was called names that really bothered me.  Names like “String Cheese” (I’m assuming this comes from me being white&skinny) and “Stix.”  I never felt like people called me names to be hurtful, but while in my room alone, I thought and wrote about these situations quite often.  In high school, I was a cheerleader.  I was a flyer and although I weighed less than 100 lbs I didn’t fit the flyer body type at all.  I had really long arms and legs.  This made me look so awkward.  I remember seeing pictures of myself and being disgusted at my long skinny limbs.  I didn’t have much tone and although I was very strong, you couldn’t tell by looking at me.  I felt insecure when stunting next to other groups who had shorter more compact flyers.  I was rarely happy with a full body picture unless I had pants on.

In my adult years I have often dreamed about having thicker thighs and a bigger butt.  For a few years I avoided wearing shorts to try and cover the skinny legs that I have.  I’ve wanted to look like someone else for as long as I can remember. (No one in particular). I know this sounds odd coming from a woman who educates girls and women on body image, but I find a certain kind of beauty in it.  I am along for their ride.  I struggle and I work to overcome my own insecurities.  Some people brush them off as if I don’t have a right to feel bad about the body I have.  But my feelings are genuine and real.  I see many of these women on covers of magazines and on the run way and I don’t see the ideal body that most other women see. I idolize muscle and curves.  And muscles and curves are something I do not have.  So although I am “Skinny” I am working on turning my mind and body into something that I can be proud of.  I work out so I feel strong and more confident in my body’s ability to perform and live a healthy life.  I read books that help me focus on the beautiful things about myself rather than the few things I dislike.  I talk to other women who might not share the exact insecurity I have, but who also struggle to love their bodies.  I look at women of all shapes and sizes and I can see beauty.  My issues with my skinny body are completely my own.  I am not a “skinny hater” by any means.  I absolutely see other skinny women and admire their beauty but it’s hard to admire my skinniness.

This blog entry was inspired by looking at myself on camera.  Last night I filmed a few fitness demo videos and while looking over them I was horrified.  I look skinny and long and weak.  I don’t feel weak but while looking at myself on camera, I couldn’t help but think of how this crazy insecurity is still haunting me in my late 20′s.  The skinny body in those videos is not what I want.  It frustrates me because I want to be able to look past this.  I want to look at pictures and videos of myself and like the image I see. The old me would have someone else redo these demo videos so no one would see how I look in them. The new me, however, will let them be posted as is even though I have anxiety about the way I look.

Some progress has been made.  At least now I wear shorts…

It is all a learning and building experience.  I love so many things about myself and the fact that my skinny body is not ideal in my eyes shouldn’t take away from other attributes. I am who I am and I need to learn to be proud of the body belonging to the girl I once was and the body that belongs to the woman I am now.

Share your comments! What are your insecurities?  What do you love about yourself?

-Chelsie Prince
Age 28
www.chelsieaprince.wordpress.com

"I Want to be Thin in Order to be Happy"

We absolutely love when girls from other countries send us their writings!  It is such a beautiful thing to be able to connect with these wonderful young women from around the world.  The beautiful girl who wrote this is from France.  Take a second to check out her personal blog once you're done reading her view on girls wanting to be thin.

"I Want to be Thin in Order to be Happy"

We live in a world in which people consistently complain about our society. As a teenager myself, spending plenty of time on the internet and social networks, I read many tweets of numberless teenage girls wanting to lose weight and to be thin. “I want to be thin in order to be happy.” Because if I'm thin then I'll be happy is the most common reason read on the internet. I am astonished when my girl friends tell me that they are on diet and they do not eat anything at all, except for dinner. I’m trying hard to make them understand that thinness does not bring happiness. The major problem is that most of today’s teenagers are struggling with acceptance issues. Dealing with it is difficult for the majority of us and we do not always have the right people by our side.

I’m a sixteen-year-old normal-weighted girl who doesn’t mind hanging out with friends who don’t necessary have the same weight as me. I am not the only one. There are plenty of others like me, thinking the same way. I learned from myself, from my life, my family issues and from my mistakes. I might be thin but it does not mean I am fully happy with what’s going on in my life. People don’t end up with me because of my body. Teens don’t mind anymore, you hurt yourself by yourself. Weighing three pounds less (or more) than her will not - cannot - make you a better person. Losing weight to look better from our society’s perspective certainly is the worst reason to lose weight. It’s regretful that teenagers, in 2014, reject many clichés from elder generations but not the one that says if you’re fat then you’re not worth it. They do fear less the fact of being gay, for instance, than the fact of not being skinny enough. These people still complain about the sadness of our society while they are on a diet, and that is really startling because actually they are submissive to it simply by doing it. Thus it is disappointing. However, the “be yourself” motto is not significant anymore because society is changing you without you even noticing.

Being yourself and learning to know you is such an important phase of youth. Some are trying to elapse it as if it was no big deal. Losing weight to feel more confident that you can change is completely different that doing it to feel better in front of others. Nevertheless, you have to accept your body before changing it. Nothing is wrong in being skinny or being plump. Do not ever let society take over and overwhelm you.  You’re much more than a stereotype.  

-Giulia Caggiano

Age: 16

http://thehighheeledpapergirl.wordpress.com

Embrace and Let it go!

Having grown up in a society that only focuses on perfection,  I’ve had low self-esteem and body image issues of my own. I was never the prettiest or the most popular out of my age group.  I was more of an outcast that nobody paid attention to, which only made me feel more self-conscious about myself. As for my body, mine seemed to mature much slower than most of the girls around me.  However, over time I learned that my body issues weren’t really my fault, because there wasn’t anything I could do. Since I was born premature, I think my body matured much slower, but sooner or later I finally started to develop and I’m happy with how I look today.  I've embraced what made me look different from what everyone thinks a female should look like because of the media.

As for my self-esteem issues, yes growing up in this twisted society which seems to be run by the media, it isn’t easy for any girl looking to fit in. I tried to fit in for so long. But with the help of Proud and Pretty in Pink my eyes were opened and I realized what the media was portraying was not only fake, which is basically what you have to be to match up to the media's expectations, but also that that look is not achievable for most. PPP also helped me to embrace the beauties I have and I created my own vision of what perfect is because I see myself that way.  I’m perfect with all my little flaws that the media continues to point out. I’ve learned to embrace my freckles, my crooked smile, and all the flaws I used to pick on over and over because they are what make me unique, no matter what. Yes, I get frustrated with how I look sometimes but at least I don’t hate myself because one little hair is out of place. It’s a give and take kind of thing. Find what works for you, what makes you feel pretty, and comfortable in your own skin.  At the end of the day you should only be pleasing one person and that’s yourself.

Now I know everyone has seen the new movie FROZEN and this may sound really cheesy but girls could actually learn a lot from Elsa and the way she portrays herself. In the beginning she tries to conceal the one thing that makes her different and special, in fear she will be rejected, much like girls today. They hide behind someone they're not because they're trying to fit into that perfect idea of perfection instead of letting it go and being who they want to be. And that’s exactly what Elsa does, when she sheds her gloves and cape (symbols of the oppression of her gift because that’s what is “perfect”) she becomes care free, no weight on her shoulders, and shows what she can really do with such power. Girls in today’s society can do just that by not conforming to the impossible standards that the media sets and just be themselves.  They can look the way they want to look and feel the way they want to feel. Look at what all kinds of women have accomplished because they don’t let the burdens of the media stand in their way and they let their talents shine.

So step away from the media.  Stop freaking out if your body doesn’t look like those girls on the magazines. Because not even those girls look like that in real life.  Spend some time reading some of the other blogs on here. You’d be surprised at what you can learn from these wonderful women and girls. I know I’ve learned a lot and I learn something new every day.

Embrace your beauties, AND your flaws, ignore the media… because photo shop is just a fancy word for fake, and we all just need to “LET IT GO!”

Stephanie Raguse

Age 19