I know a girl who is different from all the other girls around her. She is caring, intelligent, beautiful, uncomfortable, weak, strong, worried, anxious, and determined. She lives her life slightly different from the girls at her school and the ones you see in the media. She doesn’t read magazines and wish she could look like the girl on the cover. She reads magazines and wishes she could change the girl on the cover. She doesn’t watch reality TV and wish her life were more like the lives of the girls on those shows. She wishes she could help those girls so they didn’t feel the need to play those roles. She wishes the girls at her school would leave her alone and stop judging her because she is different. She wants them to see who she really is or not see her at all. She cries late at night because she feels helpless against the many pressures she faces on a day-to-day basis. She gets up in the morning dreading the day and hoping for something positive to come along to pass the time. She feels the eyes of all those around her, piercing her skin and casting emotional stones. She feels empowered in her room all by herself, but defeated the second she enters a room full of her peers. She writes, she listens to music, she dances to the beat of her own drum. She looks in the mirror and is conflicted because what she see’s is beauty but what she feels deep down is repulsive. She is angry at the fact that she has allowed others to somewhat define the person she is. She has let them break her slightly and she has let them in, even though they are un-deserving. Their words weaken her, their looks scar her, and the very sight of them makes her want to run away. She decides that it would be easier to become just like everyone else. Maybe then she would be left alone. This way no one could see her differences. No one would look at her any differently then they looked at everyone else. No one would talk about her because there was no longer anything to talk about. She fights to conform and learns to make herself invisible. She is finally left alone. They forget about her and they no longer see her. She lives confined to her independence and for a while it feels great. She writes her stories, she sings her songs, and she dances to her own choreography. But soon she realizes that her stories lack inspiration and emotion. Her voice sounds monotone and dancing becomes a boring routine rather then a release of physical emotion. She sits and wonders what has happened to her. She does not feel like herself. She is empty, lonely, and bored. She wants to make a difference but in order to make that difference she has to be noticed. She needs people to talk about her and to see her. She realizes that the pain that came from not fitting in is what gave her the creativity needed to do the things she loved. She realized that in order to change the girls on the magazines and in the tv shows she had to be true to herself or she was no different from all of them. She let her surroundings dictate the person she turned into. She let them win, just as girls do everyday when they succumb to peer pressure and pressure from the media. She was pressured into becoming a different person, one who unlike her real self, gave up and quit. The invisible wore off. What made her different came back and people saw her again. They talked, they looked, and they did the same things they did before. The difference this time was their actions no longer mattered. Their looks gave her determination, their words gave her motivation, and the sight of these people helped her see that you can never be your true different self unless you are brave enough to say no to becoming invisible. There will always be something in your way when trying to find yourself. Sometimes you will cry and hurt. Sometimes your own thoughts can be intimidating. But in the end, your everyday interaction with the world around you builds your very being. You can let it consume you and drag you down or you can use it as a fuel to your creative energy. You can share your stories with others in order to help them see that they are not alone. You can work to convince girls that they are more than a pretty face or that their lives can be better spent on more important things rather then being cheap entertainment for others. Why waste your individuality and try to become invisible. Embrace it and know that the very essence of your individual being is what will help change this world. This girl should sound a little familiar, because she lives in each one of us. Some of us may work hard to fit in but we are all different. Some choose to embrace the difference while others will waste their time here, trying to cover it up.
Written By: Chelsie Mogan
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