Moments of Weakness

Weakness. What does that word mean to you? According to Miriam-Webster’s dictionary, the word “weak” has multiple definitions. For example, lacking strength; mentally or intellectually deficient; not able to resist external force or withstand attack, just to name a few. But to me, weakness means vulnerability mixed with a little sensitivity and too many emotions. In my eyes, weakness has a very negative connotation and I hate to show it in front of anyone including myself. I lived the greater part of my life being weak minded and weak hearted and I try a little too hard to prevent that from happening again. To be honest, I sometimes judge situations or people by their weakness. I feel that people would be more independent, happy and satisfied with themselves if they didn’t let their weaknesses get the best of them. But, recently I have noticed that trying so hard to be strong has been my downfall. So, which one is worse? Being too weak or too proud?

Alcohol. Love. Sex. Drugs. Fitness. Shoes. Pride. Success. Food. Fame. Anger. All of these can be weaknesses; some of them can be goals. But, depending on how deep you’ve fallen, any of these can destroy you. How many moments of weakness do you feel each day, each week or each month? Obviously, everyone is different.  Some are mentally stronger than others and some are just physically stronger. How do you deal with your weakness? Please do share I’d really love to know. Because I’m sure the way I deal with it, hiding my emotions, bottling them up, drinking them away, is not the healthiest way to go about it. I tend to shut out the people who would be most valuable to me. I become an angry evil version of my self that bickers and fights with those that are closest to me. And I tend to sit alone and emotionally cut myself until I can’t take it anymore. How does that help anything? I’m so concerned with portraying this image of a girl who holds the world on her shoulders and wears nothing but a smile. I tend to forget that I have the most amazing family and friends that only want to listen and help. It’s them that make me realize that holding things in is what makes me weak. Being able to discuss them, confront them and work past them is what proves me a strong individual.

Reality is that we all have things in our lives that make us question our inner strength. But it is all about the way we deal with it that determines our strength. It’s okay to be sad sometimes, and sometimes you need to cry or scream. Sometimes you just need to have a soda or some ice cream to keep you sane. Sometimes buying a new pair of shoes or a bottle of wine just might turn your week around.  Saying “I’m Sorry” first isn’t going to kill you. Admitting that you care for someone who has major potential of hurting you just might give them the opportunity to make you very happy. And I’m pretty sure it’s still okay to mourn the death of a loved one that has been gone for years or even reflect on past relationships with people who will never be in your life again.  Sometimes it’s okay to watch sad movies or listen to songs with memories behind them. Its okay to want to be alone during certain moments of weakness but it’s also very okay to talk about them after the darkness has passed.

Music does something for me that nothing else can. It can heal me or break me; it can bring me to tears or put a huge smile on my face. I can hear a song one day and it means absolutely nothing to me, and then all of a sudden, the next day it does. I was listening to the Lady Antebellum station on Pandora a few nights ago and this song by Rascal Flatts came on. Needless to say this blog was inspired by the first few lines of the song “I’m Moving On”. I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons. Finally content with a past I regret. I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness. For once I’m at peace with myself. I dare you to try! 

Written By: Michelle Flores, Age 25