Hug It, Squeeze It

Today, I read an article about embracing your life as a series of
empowered choices rather than obligations. Easier said than done of
course, but I immediately knew I needed to reevaluate the way I treat
my life. Even as it leaves my lips, the word “obligation” boils over with
negativity. I hear it and I feel the sting of ropes tied to my wrists,
bound to the things I feel I have to do rather than choose to do.

When I was in college, I wasn’t aware of the word “obligation.” If I
was, it was in regards to something fun and trivial, i.e. “I want to
go to Margarita Monday but I feel obligated to go to Liz’s birthday
party.” Once I moved back home, I was severely jarred by the real
world that I assumed I was prepared for. “Obligation” was now
irrevocably knotted into the job search in a barren economy. I was
flailing, desperate to find my future that loomed like an oasis--it
was beautiful, and it didn’t exist.

I had carefully crafted my resume piece-by-piece for the past four
years; it was my idyllic little world inked symmetrically and
mathematically onto a sheet of white paper. I stood by as the eyes of
strangers glazed over it, again and again. There was no room for me in
the real world. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t find my
place.

It took some time to find a suitable job (after quitting my first and
rejecting others that my heart refused to commit to) and now that I’m
here, I still feel lost. And worse, I feel obligated. Obligated to
show up. Obligated to go to the gym. Obligated to smile. My life went
from endless choices--classes, extracurriculars, parties--to routine
of rigid obligations.

Or so I thought.

I have been wrong, and I need to change it now. Just because my life
isn’t handed to me on a platter of Blue and Gold anymore doesn’t mean
I can’t be grateful for what I have, and the goals I am working
towards for my future. I am going to wake up and appreciate my life
for exactly what it is. Hug it, squeeze it, tell it it’s beautiful
even when my soul feels weathered. Things may not be perfect right
now, but this experience is preparing me to cherish every moment of my
future, and it’s teaching me to love every moment of my present.

Written By: Meredith Callan, Age 22