Wednesday, February 26, 2014

A Struggle of Many... Her Struggle with Eating Disorders

Proud & Pretty in Pink is blessed to have supporters from different places all over in the world.  Luana is from Brazil and has graciously decided to share her story with us.  She is one of many who have struggled with eating disorders and in honor of Eating Disorder Awareness Week (Feb. 23rd - Mar. 1st) we wanted to share her story with you.  If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder please reach out for help.  If you are in our area Valenta Eating Disorder Clinic in Rancho Cucamonga is a great place with wonderful helpful people.  If you are not in Southern California here are a few places you can go to find help:

Confidential Hotline: 1-800-931-2237


You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

“I am forever engaged in a silent battle in my head over whether or not to lift the fork to my mouth, and when I talk myself into doing so, I taste only shame. I have an eating disorder.” - Jena Morrow, Hollow

“Hi, my name is Luana, and I had eating disorders.” This is definitely not the way I'd introduce myself, in fact most people from work, from the church I belong and even from my family, don't know the story you're about to read.

Every eating disorder has a beginning, I could say it started when I was 8 and definitely overweight, but to be honest my weight at that age didn't bother me, I was just a child I was more interested in playing with the other kids than on the size of my belly. Eventually as I grew up I dropped a few pounds, I wasn't skinny but I was fine.

At the age of 13 was when everything really began. I was in seventh grade and the pressure to look “nice” was greater. I was overweight for my age and height, so I decided to go on a diet. I started it healthily, I was getting the result I planned, everything was going well, I was feeling confident when... EVERYTHING changed!

My mom was pregnant, eighth month of pregnancy, so far so good. Then, on an appointment she found out the baby (my brother) was dead (for some inexplicable reason). “You have to be strong, you have to be there for your mom”, that was said to me several times. So I did, except that I only pretended to be strong!

The pain I was holding for losing my brother, was taken out on my weight. I punished my body for feeling pain when it should be strong! Then I focused my energy on losing weight. I always loved food, of all kinds, so to stop eating was not something I could do. The only way to lose weight would be to throw up everything I ate. Looking back now I can see how sickly that habit was.
I injured my body in so many ways.  Though a part of me still feels shame, I know that sharing this story can help other girls that are facing the same problems. The details in this case are irrelevant, I don’t need to tell you how badly it got to show you that there’s hope!

In my case, talking to my family was the way out. Reading the Bible and praying helped me too. Knowing that God loves me and has a purpose for my life made me rise from the ashes. There’s nothing like looking at the past wisely and looking forward to the future with hope, knowing that better days are still to come!


Trust me, “IT GETS BETTER”; your life has a meaning! Your existence has a purpose. Don’t give up. If you could only see the wonderful things that are in store for you! Choose to be there when they arrive, choose to live!

“It's better to feel every kind of emotion than not feel at all. Allow yourself to feel the one thing you've been pushing away. Call a friend, be vulnerable, and share it with them.” - Demi Lovato, Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year

Thank you, Chelsie from Proud & Pretty in Pink for giving me the opportunity to share a little bit of my story with you all. I wish all the best with this project, and to every person that stopped by to read this, thank you! I appreciate each and every one of you!

Luana Mattos.
Age: 21
Twitter: @dymattoss

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