Love is Louder

My name is Cathrine and I am Norwegian girl. I heard about Proud and Pretty a few months ago, and I'm finally working up the courage to share my story.

Ever since I was little I have been bullied. I am short (barely 5ft tall) and therefore I was an easy target. Every day I would hear things like "Little My" (after the 'Moomin' character) or Catface (a translated version of how they would distort my name). If I were to go into a bathroom - they would knock on the door and try to pick the lock. Girls would just avoid talking to me altogether.

I was a master at putting on a poker face. I lied a lot so even to this day everyone thinks that all the kids I went to school with are my friends. When in reality I don't speak to any of them anymore. For 12 years I was bullied and/or ignored every day. I grew up in a small place so I was always in school with the same people.

Near the end of high school, one of the guys that bullied me most decided to go after me. During a break he came into my classroom and followed me around. I would tell him to please go away, but he kept moving wherever I would move. And he proceeded to put his hands in my pants. There were people standing around laughing, I can still hear them as I write this. Luckily for me the bell rang, and he ran out.

Now this last part I’ve only ever told one person before. Because it still gives me nightmares. Where I'm back in that classroom. During this there was also a sudden death in my family and I was being harassed by some girls online.  There was a lot going on all at once. I'm ashamed to say my relief at that time was cutting myself.

After high school I ended up moving 8 hours away from where I lived in order to go to another school. This ended up being one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. It was during this year I finally started making some friends and slowly started believing in myself. I even applied to start journalism studies because I had dreamt of that for as long as I can remember.

Today I have finished those journalism studies and I am currently doing things I love, surrounded by friends that are all over the world (and some right here where I live now). I have a tattoo that says “Love is Louder” on my left wrist to remind me of how far I have come. Love IS louder. I am here to tell you that you matter. Your story matters. Bullies can't hold you down unless you let them. You are BEAUTIFUL just the way you are, and you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. Live your dream, and don't let anyone take that away from you.

-Cathrine