The Journey to Loving Me. AS IS!

Once upon a time, B.C. (aka before children), I was pretty, had a nice body, and was so insecure. Due to my lack of confidence and self-worth, I was often looking for ways for people to notice me. I would pile on the makeup, wear as little clothing as I could get away with, and I turned my flirt game up to 100%. The attention that I would get was intoxicating! It was only a temporary high though that required me to do more to get more attention. Consequently, I put myself in some very dangerous and life changing situations. It was very unhealthy, both emotionally and physically.

After I had my second child, I really let myself go and I weighed the most I ever had in my life. No one looked at me anymore; I didn’t even want to look at myself. I desperately needed someone to love me! It was awful and the depression was crippling. When no one wanted me, what was I supposed to do? Where was that attention that I so desperately needed to survive? The answer: I needed to love myself.

I didn’t get there overnight. In fact, it took a LOT of work. I knew that I needed to start by losing weight, so I began by adopting healthier eating habits and increased my activity level (I have lost 30 pounds so far, and probably need to lose an additional 50). I had to stop calling myself fat. I had to stop telling myself that I hated how I looked. I had to smile more. I had to write positive words of affirmations and post them on my mirrors. I had to buy clothes that fit. It wasn’t something that was going to happen on its own, I had to work for it!

Now, I don’t care if people look at me. I don’t care if my selfie gets 100 likes. All that matters is that I love the person that I look at in the mirror. And I love her now more than ever!

I have two sons, ages 12 and 7. They think I am perfect. They think I am beautiful. They don’t ever want me to change. They see everything that I do and hear everything that I say about myself. I don’t want them to grow up with an unhealthy body image, nor do I want them to look at their future wives or daughters negatively. I want them to see that my happiness wasn’t found in material things or temporary validation from others. I want them to see that my happiness came from having confidence in myself, and by being surrounded by those that love me unconditionally.

Kristen B.  Age 34; Cincinnati, Ohio.