Heart Broken Daugther...

    Growing up I always thought I would have 3 Best Friends that would always be there for me, support me, and be my voice of reason.  These 3 people would be my mom, my dad and my sister.  All in all, I guess 2 out of 3 is not that bad.  I have a sister that is my heart, a dad that is my rock, and a mom I WISH was my soul.  I find myself going through my adult life yearning for the love, support and the one who is always on my team.  Instead my mom is full of hate and judgement.  She always sees the glass half empty.  I look into her eyes and see hate, and then I look into mine and see fear.  I am fearful that one day I will end up like her.  There is a negative cloud that hovers over her and there's rarely a sunny happy day in her life.  My self esteem in the last month has definitely be affected.  Instead of hearing "I love you, I'm proud of you, Keep working hard..."  I hear "You're lazy and irresponsible and You're a piece of shit." Oh and I'm constantly reminded that I shouldn't eat that and that I've gained a lot of weight.  Even in my 20's these are words that hurt extremely bad.  As I sit here in my room writing this, my mom is in the other room and has no clue how much she hurts me each and every day.

Pic From Here

....I just wish my Mom was the Mom I've needed her to be

-Anonymous